So, definitely should be clear now that I'm super inconsiste..
Published: September 7, 2023 at 10:12:05 PM
So, definitely should be clear now that I'm super inconsistent with this whole thing. I feel you are owed an explanation, at least one I'm able to give.
So, the short version: hostility has broke me. The long version, well..
I think it's impossible to not be aware of just how much of a issue trans people has been made into recently, and for me in the UK it really is unavoidable. Pretty much every day people have been "sharing their thoughts on the whole trans thing" and it's become a nightmare.
"Were you coerced into becoming trans?"
"Were you abused when you were younger?"
"How could anyone want to date you like that?"
Just insanely inappropriate questions I could never imagine asking anyone, let alone an acquaintance like me. I'm not exaggerating that every day I would get asked in real-life questions like this, or what I think about the "latest trans issue". I think it built up too much over time, and along with that, these experiences just grew and grew until I just couldn't cope anymore.
Before I used to be so sure of myself. I would go out anywhere and be so comfortable letting anyone know that I'm trans. I mean I've been posting videos of me fucking a dildo, surely that takes some amount of self-confidence!!
But all of that's gone now, I just can't anymore. For the last year really I've been a shell of who I once was, and the security in my femininity that I used to feel has drained completely. The idea of turning on the camera truly haunts me, and I think that the guilt of not posting just kinda grew and grew until I avoided this site completely.
I truly do love talking to you all, that's the reason I made this account free after all! And I hope I'll be able to return to that at least. But honestly, me posting again feels super unlikely, and I don't want you to hold out hope on that happening. Maybe this post will remove the pressure for me to post, and I'll just randomly keep you updated with me and how I'm looking, but I really cannot be sure. I'll keep my old posts here of course, honestly I love looking through them and I hope you do too
Love, Catherine 💗